Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
