My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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