dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
