I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Randomize
