Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Found the puke drawer
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
