She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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