one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
