brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
