She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize