it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
if only i could text you this smell
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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