Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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