Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
