I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
