It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he was CRYING into my vagina
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
