Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
