I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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