I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
