Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
