i need an iv and a liver transplant
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
