he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
