So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dignity is for republicans.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
