I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
