3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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