The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
