I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
