If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
