More tranny stories later!
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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