Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
