There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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