Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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