yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
