uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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