i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
The air taste purple.
Randomize
