Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
