So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize