Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
