chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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