Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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