My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
There's even glitter on my cock...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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