UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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