i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
