He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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