I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
