Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
