Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
At least make sure they are 18
Why
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Randomize
