I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
