Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Welp...herpes.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
