There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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