Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
