so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
