Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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