I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
