My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You have to summon your inner elephant
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
