so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
