If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
last night I used snow as a chaser
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