dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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