So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
