I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
