Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize