i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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