Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
