I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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