Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
